The American Divorce Culture

The Church upholds the permanency of marriage because Christ teaches the same with divine authority.

By Deacon Frederick Bartels
18 August 2017

Following the sexual revolution of the 1960’s and the advent of artificial birth control, America has increasingly viewed marriage as a temporary social arrangement that can be severed for any reason. In 2014, there were over 800,000 divorces. Half of all American children will have to endure the failure of their parents’ marriage. One consequence of all this is that people today are more often tending to view marriage as a rather pointless burden, choosing to cohabit instead. A Barna Group study found that 65% of Americans as a whole think cohabitation is a good idea.

Pope Paul VI prophetically foresaw these conditions. He warned in Humanae Vitae:

Responsible men can become more deeply convinced of the truth of the doctrine laid down by the Church on this issue if they reflect on the consequences of methods and plans for artificial birth control. Let them first consider how easily this course of action could open wide the way for marital infidelity and a general lowering of moral standards. Not much experience is needed to be fully aware of human weakness and to understand that human beings—and especially the young, who are so exposed to temptation—need incentives to keep the moral law, and it is an evil thing to make it easy for them to break that law. Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection. (HV 17)

At the time Paul VI promulgated this encyclical so faithful to the divine teaching of Christ himself, a firestorm of criticism and revolt ensued. There were dissenters from all ranks of the Church, whether clergy, religious or laity. However, more and more people today are experiencing the bad fruit produced from the rotten tree of artificial birth control.

In today’s gospel (Mt 19:3-12), Christ gives by his divine authority teaching on the reality of marriage as a permanent, life-long and unbreakable bond between husband and wife:

Some Pharisees approached Jesus, and tested him, saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?” He said in reply, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female and said, For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.” They said to him, “Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss her?” He said to them, “Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery.” (Mt 19:3-9)

Jesus draws from Genesis 2:24 and reminds his listeners that marriage is a divine creation; it is not a human invention. It follows from this teaching that the marital bond, a covenant of indissoluble fidelity of the spouses entered into before God and raised to the dignity of a sacrament of the Church by Christ, cannot be dissolved by any civil or religious power. God has joined the spouses together; no person nor institution has the power to loose this one-flesh union. Even the Catholic Church herself, divinely instituted as she is by Christ and bestowed with his Spirit as her soul, has no authority to sever the marital bond of a validly married couple. A valid marriage remains permanent unto the death of one of the spouses. As St. Paul teaches, a validly married but separated couple has but two options: either reconcile or remain single (1 Cor 7:10-11).

The Church today remains the last institution of truth whose teaching upholds the words of Christ on this matter. Although she is often despised for this, the Church is doing nothing other than maintaining fidelity to her beloved Savior and his divine authority. Those who resent and reject her doctrine are at odds with the Word of God.

The evangelists saw Christ’s New Testament teaching on marriage to be of such importance—and radically different from Jewish tradition on the subject—that they deemed it necessary to include in all the synoptic gospels:

• I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery. (Mt 19:9)
• Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery. (Mk 10:11)
• Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and whoever marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery. (Lk 16:18)

On a practical level, one might ask, why does Christ insist that a valid marriage is unbreakable? We need only look to human nature and the reality of the cultural wreckage which has ensued in the wake of American divorce dogma. Countless children suffer severe psychological trauma as a result of broken families; single parents struggle to survive and provide for these children; and the State bears significant expenses consequent to these breakups. As a result, there is a seismic wave sent reverberating through society, fracturing it at its foundation, disrupting its integrity and harmony. As Pope St. John Paul II noted, if marriage goes, so too does the society founded upon it.

It is imperative to once again return to Christ’s words. “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mk 10:11). If validly married spouses separate, divorce and attempt to contract a new union, they are in fact not entering into a new marriage, but rather into an adulterous situation which objectively and gravely contravenes God’s law:

Today there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ – “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery,” the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God’s law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence. (CCC 1650)

People who find themselves in invalid unions are faced with a number of complex decisions, issues, and difficulties. However, the first priority is to repent and bring an end to the sin of adultery, for if this sin is committed with full knowledge and intention it constitutes mortal sin, which destroy’s a person’s relationship with God and places one’s soul in jeopardy. Many will here think that these are arbitrary rules introduced by a Church whose view of God is antiquated and governed by extreme rigorism and rigidity. They will say that the God of love they claim to know would not impose such difficult demands and severe consequences on his children. But this attitude reflects the capital error of 21st century America, one which views God as love without justice, as a god who treats the just and unjust equally. But that is not God, for to do so would make God himself unjust and imperfect. God’s commands and divine laws reflect the reality of the way things are. God opposes certain human behavior because it is evil. God’s divine law does not consist of arbitrary rules, prescriptions and prohibitions, but rather it is a guiding light illuminating the path to the authentic good and the heavenly realm. The moral doctrine of the Church reflects the Father’s compassionate love for his children.

Note that one remedy for the couple in an invalid marriage is to repent, receive the sacrament of Penance, and live as brother and sister in fidelity to Christ’s divine commands (complete continence). Although the sexual orthodoxy of today deems abstinence an impossibility, that view is but the false product of a morally fractured culture guided by the evil prompts of Satan. The kingdom of heaven excludes those who intentionally live a life of immorality, unholiness, and sexual impurity and die in such a state unrepentant. We must always remember that we have the help of the Holy Trinity to live the life of holiness and purity. The life of complete continence is indeed possible.

Another option is to obtain a decree of nullity for the first marriage and regularize the second union. The modern media, so often incapable of understanding the Church, calls an annulment a “Catholic divorce.” Is it true that the Church divorces couples? No. A decree of nullity is an official statement of the Church declaring that a marriage did not take place. After careful expert examination of a marriage, including witnesses, the marriage tribunal of a particular diocese may find that the couple did not fully intend to enter into a valid marriage. There may have been some circumstance or attitude in place at the time of the attempted marriage which prevented a valid, sacramental marriage from occurring. In that case, there was no marriage at all, and the person is thus free to marry.

Let us pray for those who find themselves in an attempted union which objectively contravenes God’s law and help them in charity and truth to resolve the situation in a way that fully harmonizes with God’s loving plan. It is important for them to know that they are not separated from the Church:

Toward Christians who live in this situation [of an invalid union], and who often keep the faith and desire to bring up their children in a Christian manner, priests and the whole community must manifest an attentive solicitude, so that they do not consider themselves separated from the Church, in whose life they can and must participate as baptized persons:

They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace. (CCC 1651)

Christ’s peace.

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Photo by Anne Edgar on Unsplash.